Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Momming and Writing and Feeling Guilty All the Time

I really don't know how Nora Roberts did it.

She started her crazy successful writing career when her children were very young, just as mine are. And she also canned, she also gardened, she also MADE HER TWO SONS CLOTHES FROM SCRATCH. 

And yet she managed to write each day, every day, for eight hours a day. (I'm not making this up. Nora says so.)

I feel so very inadequate as I write this. More so than when I started this post.

Sigh.

[Crickets.]

Anyway. 

Here I sit right now, and I need to tell you this, Dearest Reader: I write and I feel guilty about doing so.

I carve out time in the morning to work on promotional stuff. And Le Boy Bebe watches Curious George. 

I carve out time during his nap. And sometimes, he goes to bed just a teeny tiny bit earlier than usual so I can get in a few more words. 

I carve out time each day in the afternoon, and if Le Boy Bebe is down for nap but it's the weekend, I make sure La Petite Adult has her own quiet time (it usually involves reading).

I carve out time at the end of the day, after bathtime, from 7 p.m. until my bedtime, to write and to work (I teach college English online). I make sure children are in bed by 7:00, and if it's 7:02, I get antsy.

And I feel guilty for feeling antsy.

But I know that if I were to set my writing aside and be a Full-Time Mom (and I can't even be that because the family is depending on the money I bring in each month from teaching), I would be dreadful at it.

I would be constantly thinking about "Where is the Girl I Was With the Dreams I Had Before Children?"

Don't get me wrong. I can't imagine my life having one second without my two beautiful babies. They are my loves.

But I need to make sure to keep with my writing, because my writing? It is the dream I've had since before I had my babies.

And Nora Roberts? 

Well, it's pretty obvious. 

She is a cyborg. 

Until next time...


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